


all there's left to do is run

by ifeelpersonallyattacked



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Regency, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cute, Dorks in Love, First Love, Forbidden Love, How Do I Tag, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, No Homophobia, Pining, Sarcastic Katsuki Yuuri, Secret Relationship, Shy Katsuki Yuuri, Song: Love Story (Taylor Swift), Tags Are Hard, although if you've listened to the song you know how it ends fam, love story au, victor has a bad reputation, victor is a smooth motherfucker, yakov and lilia are victor's parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15088823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifeelpersonallyattacked/pseuds/ifeelpersonallyattacked
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki was young when he first saw Victor Nikiforov one summer's night. His family warns him to stay away, but he is quickly drawn in by Victor's beautiful smile, silver hair, and sparkling laugh.Nothing is ever quite the same after that.





	1. on a balcony in summer air

**Author's Note:**

> what's up fam, it's your girl
> 
> this is my first work on this site, although not my first piece of writing ever
> 
> it'll still probably be trash though
> 
> i'm sorry i just really like this song and i wanted to write this forever??? whatever please enjoy

Yuuri Katsuki was the son of an Earl, but he might as well have been the son of a trash monster(in his opinion, at least). He wasn't graceful or poised or even remotely attractive, as sons of Earls tended to be. Yuuri Katsuki was as trash-monstery as they came(in his opinion, at least). 

So when his parents had suggested throwing him a ball for his twenty-first birthday, he balked hard. After all, who would want to celebrate the coming-of-age of a trash monster?

***  
"I'm sorry, what?" 

"A ball!" Hiroko had said, smiling brightly as though her only son hadn't just died on the inside, "You only turn twenty-one once, after all!"

"That's really okay..." Yuuri had said, desperately trying to keep the tremble out of his voice, "You guys don't have to throw me a ball..."

***

But of course, his parents hadn't listened, and now he was stuck wallflowering at his own "ball", nursing a glass of champagne and hoping he could melt into the ground and hibernate for a thousand years. 

His parents really had really gone out with this. They had invited every single noble family within a hundred-mile radius to his party. The Leroys, the de la Iglesias, the Giacomettis, and many more Yuuri didn't even know the name of. 

Yuuri was quite sure half of them weren't even sure what this party was for. But it was a ball, and there was alcohol, so they were there. 

"Yuuri!" 

Yuuri turned his head just in time to see his best friend barrel into him, wrapping his arms around him in a bear hug. Phichit Chulanont was the son of a wealthy merchant family and an avid lover of hamsters and anything Yuuri tended to avoid like the plague, like socializing. 

Still, they had still managed to somehow become best friends despite their opposite inclinations and Yuuri loved Phichit to death, even if he did occasionally force Yuuri to come out of his shell. It never ended well, Exhibit A being That One Time that Yuuri swore never to spoke of again. 

"Phichit, hi..." Yuuri spoke softly, wrapping his arms around his friend, "I'm glad you could make it."

Phichit pulled away, brown eyes sparkling with mirth. "What do you mean 'glad you could make it'? I wouldn't miss this for the world!" He narrowed his eyes and scrutinized Yuuri closely, "But since I came all this way, mind telling me why you're just leaning against the wall? It can hold itself up, you know!"

Yuuri's cheeks turned red and he turned away. "You know how I feel about this kind of thing, Phichit. I don't like parties...or mingling..."

He cast a wistful gaze at his parents, who were laughing at some joke his dance instructor, Minako Okukawa, had said. Unlike him, Minako was outgoing and flamboyant and able to hold her alcohol. Not for the first time, he wished he could be more like her. 

"Yuuri..." Phichit said, crossing his arms, "You're feeling bad about yourself again."

The boy snapped out of his thoughts and cleared his throat, eyes glancing anywhere but Phichit's face. "So!" he said over-cheerfully, desperate to change the subject, "How's Seung-gil doing? Did he come here with you today?" 

"He's fine." Phichit said curtly, making it clear he wasn't done with Yuuri yet, "He's over at the refreshment table getting drinks for us. But, Yuuri-" 

"When's the wedding, again? I can't ever seem to remember, silly me..." Yuuri interrupted, tacking a strained smile onto his face. 

"Two months. Yes, you are invited." Phichit replied, sighing internally at his best friend, "But, Yuuri, we really need to talk."

"About what?" Yuuri answered, smiling wider. 

Phichit sighed, slinging his arm over Yuuri's shoulder. "Yuuri...your mom talked to me. She's worried that you're feeling lonely."

Fuck. His mom had figured it out again. The last time Hiroko had talked to Phichit was when he was twelve and "feeling lonely". That's when he had gotten Vicchan, but apparently, Yuuri's mother didn't think that another dog would solve his supposed "loneliness". 

"What do you mean? I'm not lonely. I have you and Mari and Vicchan and...and...well, I'm not lonely!" Yuuri lied through his teeth, wringing his hands. 

Phichit sighed once more. "Well, Yuuri...your parents think--and these are their words, not mine--that it's high time you got married."

Yuuri's eyes widened and his breath began coming out in short bursts. "They want me...They want me to get married?!"

The Thai man recognized the signs of an oncoming panic attack and he quickly began patting Yuuri on the back and soothing him. "Don't worry, Yuuri...I'm sure it's not like that. They're probably just worried about your happiness, that's all. You know how parents are, they think that happiness is always hinged on their kid getting hitched..."

Yuuri managed to calm down a little at those words and began taking deep breaths. "I don't think I'm ever going to get married. There's no one single my age, and besides, nobody would be interested in someone like me."

Phichit nodded solemnly. "I hate to admit it, but you're right about the first thing. Leo's courting Guang-Hong, Christophe just got engaged to Masumi, and JJ has practically been married to Isabella since they were kids..." He put a hand on his chin, "The only single person I can think of is Georgi Popovich, but he's so hung up on his ex, I highly doubt he'd be interested in pursuing anyone else." Phichit then put his hands on his hips and leaned in closer to his best friend, "However, you're wrong about no one wanting to marry you. You are a highly desirable man! I'd marry you myself if I wasn't so in love with Seung-gil." 

"Thanks, Phichit. That's super helpful." Yuuri said dryly. 

"I'm serious! Have you not noticed how attractive you are?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm so attractive every eligible man my age is married to or courting someone else," Yuuri said, bitterness seeping into his voice, "I'm obviously so desirable." 

Phichit rolled his eyes and pulled Yuuri in for a hug. "You'll find someone, Yuuri." He chuckled a bit, letting go of his friend and patting him on the head. "Looks like your mom was right. You do want a man!" 

"I do not! In fact, I-" Yuuri was interrupted by the sound of a horn playing introduction music. He quickly left Phichit's side, running over to the bottom of the staircase where he could clearly see the new arrivals. Why were they so late? The ball was already in full swing and they had already passed the point of fashionably late. Anybody who showed up at this point would be considered rude, and if Yuuri knew anything about anything, he knew that most nobles would rather die than be considered rude. 

"Introducing..." the royal herald shouted from the top of the stairway, "Duke Yakov Feltsman, Duchess Lilia Baranovskaya, and heir to the Dukedom, Victor Nikiforov!"

A gasp rippled through the crowd as the doors opened to reveal a very stern-looking man accompanied by an even sterner-looking woman. Behind them, a young man who looked to be in his mid-twenties, with silver hair and the bluest eyes Yuuri had ever seen. They seemed cold, like the frost that appeared on Yuuri's window after a particularly cold winter's night. 

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no." A voice sounded behind him. Yuuri whirled around just in time to see Phichit stalking towards him. He grabbed Yuuri's arm and began to pull him away. "You are not getting involved with Victor Nikiforov!"

"What...?" Yuuri asked, very confused to the reaction of his best friend and the people around him, for that matter. Everywhere he looked, he could see people whispering to each other while keeping their eyes trained on the Duke, Duchess, and heir apparent. In the far corner of the ballroom, he could even see his parents frantically arguing with a frazzled-looking Minako. What was so bad about this family that made everyone react like this? 

"What's the matter, Phichit? What is so bad about this family?" Yuuri asked, confusion apparent in his tone. 

Phichit stopped walking and looked back at his best friend, shock evident on his features. "Yuuri...you've never heard of that family?" 

"N-No? I mean...I think I've heard the Duke's name before, but I'm not sure?" 

Phichit groaned and put his face in his hands. "Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri...my sweet, summer child. That family is bad news."

Yuuri cocked his head to the side. "Why? What have they done? And why do you keep saying 'that family'?"

The Thai man glanced around nervously, as if scared of what that family would do to him. "Okay, I'll tell you, but we can't be heard." 

"Okay, but-OW!" Yuuri yelped as he was yanked into a small alcove near the hallway. "Ow..." Yuuri grimaced, rubbing his arm. 

Phichit glanced around one more time before leaning in close to Yuuri. "Rule number one is you don't mess with that family, okay? Promise me, Yuuri! Promise me you won't mess with them."

"Why would I-" 

Phichit cast a seething glare at his friend and Yuuri relented. "Alright, alright. I promise I won't mess with them." 

Phichit nodded slowly, probably reassuring himself that Yuuri meant what he said. "Okay, first of all, everyone calls them 'that family' because nobody can refer to them by one single last name. Duchess Baranovskaya didn't take her husband's last name when she married and their son is adopted. You know that I don't have a problem with men and women adopting children together, but a lot of older folks prefer biological children with different-sex couples. But that isn't what makes people dislike them." He paused, probably for dramatic effect, "People don't like them because of their business tactics. Whenever different noble families do business with each other, there's always pleasantries and stuff like that, right? Not with that family. They skip straight to the business portion and don't bother to honor the other family." 

Yuuri pushed up his glasses, scrunching his eyebrows. "Well, that is a little uncouth, but surely it's not enough to-"

"But what make people really afraid of them is what happens when they don't get their way. They'll find some way to take your land, your money...anything, really. It's made everyone terrified to do business with them, but no one can avoid it since they have control over so much. And they're not even polite about it! They're known for being rude to everyone they meet. That family doesn't particularly care about social etiquette, to say the least." 

Yuuri felt a little bit of fear creep into his heart. "So why are they here now? I've never seen them before, and I obviously would have heard if they were to do business with my family."

Phichit shrugged as much as he could in the tight space. "Who knows? If your family hasn't made any sort of deal with them, you're safe. My guess is that they heard there was a party, insulted they weren't invited, and showed up anyway."

Yuuri pursed his lips and glanced around the alcove corner, where That Family was standing, just chatting amiably among themselves. They didn't seem bothered at all by the fact that nobody was within fifteen feet of them. The son, Victor, suddenly let out a loud laugh at something his father had said, and Yuuri blushed at the sound. It was sparkling and beautiful, and he found himself wanting to hear it again and again and again. 

Just then, he was pulled(quite literally) back to reality by Phichit, who was making a pleading face at him. "Just...don't talk to them, okay? I don't want your family to lose anything."

Yuuri nodded in agreement. "I won't, Phichit. I prom-"

"Talking about my family?" a voice purred from the side. 

Both Yuuri and Phichit yelped in surprise and scrambled out of the alcove like children whose hands were just caught in the cookie jar. 

"No, Lord Nikiforov! We weren't talking about anything!" Phichit supplied, frantically glancing between Yuuri and Victor, "We were just..um..." His eye caught sight of something behind Yuuri and he slowly edged out of the conversation. "My, uh, my intended is calling me! You know Viscount Lee, right?" He chuckled nervously and practically ran out of sight, no doubt going to Seung-gil for protection, leaving Yuuri defenseless. Some best friend he was. 

"Yuuri, right?"

Yuuri was snapped out of his stupor and back to Lord Nikiforov. "Uh...yes, I'm Yuuri..." 

Lord Nikiforov smiled warmly and bowed slightly. "My official title is Lord Victor Nikiforov, heir to the Feltsman Dukedom, but that's a bit of a mouthful. You can just call me Victor."

"Okay-" Yuuri squeaked, slowly stepping backwards and away from Victor, "It was really nice meeting you, Lord Niki-I mean, Victor! But I think I hear my sister calling me, so I really must be going..."

However, Yuuri's efforts were in vain as Victor caught him by the hand and swept him into a dip. "Oh, Yuuri..." Victor said lowly, amusement sparkling in his blue eyes, "And here I was thinking you'd save me a dance..." 

"I-I really should get to my sister..." Yuuri said desperately, squirming a bit in Victor's grasp.

"Please, Yuuri?" Victor pouted, bending down so low Yuuri could feel his hot breath in his ear, "Just one dance?" 

Yuuri was caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, if he refused Victor, it would no doubt make its way back to the Duke and Duchess, and he didn't want something so simple as a refusal to dance cause his family ruin. On the other, if he accepted, there's no telling what would happen. 

Yuuri hoped someone would come to his aid, but no one did. "O-Okay...just one dance..."

Victor beamed and it vaguely registered to Yuuri that it was shaped like a heart. "Wonderful!" He quickly took the lead, getting them both into the starting pose for a waltz. As if on cue, the orchestra began to play a familiar waltz, and Yuuri was swept away onto the dance floor. Other couples made a wide birth around them, but that didn't seem to bother Victor as he led Yuuri in the dance. It took all his years of formal dance training to be able to keep up with Victor's pace. 

"You know, Yuuri..." Victor said airily, breaking the silence, "I saw you looking at me earlier. When you were in that little nook with your friend."

Yuuri turned red as a tomato and looked down, ashamed to have been caught. "I'm t-terribly sorry..."

"There's no need to apologize, Yuuri," Victor cut in, his slight accent making his every word sound ten times more sophisticated, "To be honest, I was hoping to get the chance to talk with you. I am aware of my family's reputation and I knew that it'd never happen on its own." He laughed his sparkling laugh, "I'd be chasing you around all night!"

Yuuri turned even redder. "Well, I..."

Victor suddenly pulled Yuuri flush against his chest, bending down slightly to whisper in his ear. "You have beautiful eyes, Yuuri. They're so warm and beautiful, like cinnamon. I'd never have forgiven myself if I couldn't admire those eyes up close."

Yuuri's eyes widened and he unknowingly grasped Victor's hands tighter. "You have eyes, too...I mean, you have bootyful eyes! Wait, I-I meant you have beautiful eyes, too!" He lowered his head in shame, "Ah...I'm sorry..."

Victor put his hand under Yuuri's chin, tilting it up so Yuuri would have no choice but to make eye contact. "Don't be, Yuuri..." he murmured, "You're adorable." 

"I'm not...I'm nothing special..." Yuuri whispered, barely able to be heard over the din of the ball, "I'm no one..."

Victor opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment, the dance ended. The dancers began drifting off the floor and back to mingling, and before long, Yuuri and Victor were the only ones on the floor. 

Victor glanced around before pulling Yuuri off the floor, but he didn't stop there. Instead, he dragged Yuuri out the balcony doors and onto the balcony. He finally let go of Yuuri, but his gaze on him didn't linger. Yuuri was probably mistaken, but it looked like Victor was looking at him as if he were all the stars in the sky. 

"I've never met someone like you, Yuuri," Victor whispered then, stepping a bit closer to Yuuri, never once breaking his intense gaze, "Most nobles I know won't stop talking about themselves or what they're doing or who their child has been married to, but you...you're different."

Yuuri couldn't break Victor's gaze. Even if he had wanted to, it would be impossible. Victor was the siren and Yuuri was the sailor, and he was slowly being lured in. 

"I told you..." Yuuri murmured sheepishly, "I'm not anyone special. I'm just...me."

Victor smiled softly and slowly placed his hands on Yuuri's cheeks, his thumb brushing away a stray piece of black hair. His hands were soft and his touch delicate, as if Yuuri was some sort of god that Victor was worshipping. "You seem very special to me, Yuuri." He brought Yuuri's face fractionally closer to his own, his eyes flickering down to Yuuri's lips. "Yuuri...can I kiss you?"

All Yuuri could do was nod as he fell deeper, deeper, as his face was brought closer, closer. His lips met Victor's in a soft, chaste kiss. He was a bit hesitant at first, although any hesitance was lost the second Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri's waist, and brought them together, as if he belonged there in Yuuri's embrace. 

It was beautiful and pure. Yuuri never wanted it to end. 

And then, without warning, Yuuri was ripped away from Victor's gentle touch and shoved behind someone. 

Mari, Yuuri thought faintly. Why was she here? 

"Get the hell away from my brother!" she bellowed, shoving her finger in Victor's dazed face, "Don't fucking touch him!"

Yuuri shook himself from his love-induced haziness and touched Mari on the shoulder. "Wait, Mari! Please, he's just-"

Mari shook him off and stepped closer to Victor, shoving him away from her and causing him to stumble slightly. 

"Victor!" Yuuri shouted, breaking out from behind Mari and rushing to Victor's side. "Are you okay, Victor? I'm so sorry, she's just overprotective, she doesn't really mean it-"

"Yuuri, get away from that boy!" A new voice entered the fray. It was Toshiya Katsuki, followed closely by Hiroko. He quickly grabbed hold of Yuuri's arm and began tugging him away from Victor, who by then had begun realizing what was happening. "Wait, Yuuri...!" he cried, reaching out for his arm before it was slapped away by a furious Mari. "Don't touch him, I said! How dare you...how dare you try to seduce my brother?!"

"Mari, he wasn't doing anything! I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted him to!" Yuuri screamed, struggling in his father's arms. He managed to get one arm free and reached out to Victor like a lifeline, wanting to touch him one last time...

"WHAT IN THE BLAZES IS GOING ON HERE?!" 

Yakov Feltsman had arrived. He threw an enraged glance at Mari and threw her aside, causing her to crash into the banister. Hiroko let out a shriek and began shouting in rapid Japanese, rushing to her daughter's side. 

Lord Feltsman was now speaking a livid-sounding Russian to Victor, who was trying to wave him aside to get to Yuuri. 

Toshiya only got angrier at Yakov's treatment of his daughter and his grip only tightened on Yuuri. "How dare you do that to my daughter?! And how dare your son try to seduce my son into handing over our wealth and land?! You should've never come here, Feltsman!" 

Yuuri was terrified. He had never seen his father that angry before. Toshiya was normally very calm and went with the flow, but this was not the father he knew. "Father, please, Victor wasn't doing anything like that! He-"

Lord Feltsman sneered and spat a curse. "Yes, Toshiya, listen to your vixen son! My son wasn't doing anything! It was your boy who was trying to get my son to divulge the happenings of our private matters!"

Victor's face contorted in fury and he grabbed his father's shoulder, spinning him around to face him. "Don't you dare speak about Yuuri that way!"

"I'll speak about that little whore any way I please, Victor!" Yakov shouted right back, grabbing his son's wrist. "Now, go out and wait with your mother, Vitya. Don't make me ask twice!"

Victor shook his head, wrenching his wrist out of his father's grasp. "No, I'm staying right here with Yuuri. I-"

Suddenly, Toshiya threw himself at Yakov, punching any part of him he could reach. "DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY SON THAT WAY!" 

"Father, no!" Yuuri screamed, desperately trying to pull his father off Lord Feltsman, "Father, please! Stop this!" Victor, meanwhile, was trying to get Yakov out from Toshiya's swinging fists, shouting in Russian. 

And then just like that, it was over. Guards from the Katsuki family came barging onto the balcony, pulling both lords away from each other. One of the guards graciously informed Yakov and Victor that they had to leave. Yakov didn't look happy in the slightest, with a swollen eye, a split lip, and a bloody nose, but he complied, pulling Victor along with him. Yuuri could only watch helplessly as Victor was dragged away, unable to do anything. 

Yuuri crumpled to his knees, keeping his eyes trained on Victor. He didn't want Victor to leave. Victor hadn't done anything wrong, and neither had he. All they had wanted was to share a wonderful moment together, and it had been ruined. Ruined by reputation. 

A soft hand rested on his shoulder. Yuuri glanced up to see his mother, smiling softly at him and offering a hand. "Come, Yuu-chan. Let's get you to bed."

Yuuri could only nod in compliance as he was stood up and walked towards his room. When he asked what became of his father, Hiroko soothed him and told him that he was absolutely fine and that he had nothing to worry about. All he needed to do was take a bath and go to bed, and that he'd feel better in the morning. 

He wasn't too sure about that.


	2. this love is difficult, but it's real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two star-crossed lovers meet up more, and as they do, fall deeper in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are probably a boatload of mistakes last chapter but i'm too lazy to fix them but i know that i used the word 'dare' too much asdjfasdkf also i kNOW that yuuri's birthday is in november, not summer, but the song says summer so try to ignore that i guess??
> 
> well, here's the next chapter 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

_Plink. Plink._

 

Yuuri's eyes fluttered open. What time was it? And what was that noise?

 

_Plink. Plink._

 

There it was again! Yuuri groaned and rolled over in his canopy bed, hoping that the noise would stop and he could go back to sleep. Yuuri was a simple man. He liked his dog, his mother's cooking, and sleep. He burrowed deeper under his covers, hugging Vicchan closer to his body. Nothing could get between him and cuddling his dog. 

 

_PLINK. PLINK. PLINK. PLINK. PLINK._

 

Nothing except that insufferable noise apparently. Growling in annoyance, Yuuri sat up in bed and glanced around, searching for the source of that  _fucking noise._ It wasn't the armoire, the desk, the chaise, or the door. That only left the window. Was someone throwing things at his window? And why were they doing it at--Yuuri checked the grandfather clock--four o'clock in the morning?! 

 

Now very annoyed, Yuuri slowly stepped out of his bed, careful not to disturb his sleeping pooch. He crept to the glass doors that led to his small, private balcony and slowly pulled them open, wincing at the squeak. 

 

As much as he hated to admit it, stepping out onto the balcony was refreshing and rejuvenating. The summer air was cooler than he expected it to be and he couldn't help but breathe in a deep breath, allowing a small smile to cross his face. 

 

"Yuuri...?"

 

Yuuri stopped smiling. Had someone just said his name? He looked around wildly, but no one was there. 

 

A chuckle was heard. "No, _solnyshko_. I'm down here."

 

Wait. Yuuri knew that voice. That voice that had whispered in his ear and asked so gently to kiss him. Yuuri's heartbeat was going a mile a minute as he cautiously glanced over the railing of the balcony. "Victor?"

 

Indeed, it was. Looking a little worse for wear, with unkempt hair and clothes, but Victor was there beneath him, in all his glory. He locked eyes with Yuuri and grinned widely, holding a hand out. Like he truly believed he could reach Yuuri if he tried. "Hello, Yuuri."

 

"Victor?!" Yuuri hissed, glancing behind him as if Mari or his father would bust through the door at any second, "Why are you here? How did you get here?!" 

 

"I'm here for you, of course," Victor replied, his silver hair flopping over his right eye, "You think I would leave you all alone?"

 

"Well...n-no, but I thought...your father, he-" Yuuri stuttered, trying to attach words to his surprise. 

 

Victor laughed once more, although he noticeably kept his voice down. "Don't worry about my father. He doesn't know I'm here." The Russian's face suddenly took on a concerned expression. "You're...not going to tell your parents about this, right?" His voice was timid and his shoulders were tense, like he was prepared to run off if the answer was yes. 

 

It wasn't. 

 

"No, no!" Yuuri shook his head wildly, "I'd never ask you to leave!" He bit his lip worriedly, glancing back once again. "I just wish there was some way we could talk closer to each other."

 

Victor placed a hand on his chin and tapped his boot against the ground, seemingly lost in thought. Then, a large smile spread across Victor's face. He opened his arms wide and said one, single word. "Jump."

 

Yuuri gapsed audibly and he backed away from the railing. "Are you insane, Victor?! This balcony is fifteen feet off the ground!"

 

Victor's smile didn't falter. "I'll catch you, I promise. You'll be fine."

 

"Um..." Yuuri glanced over the banister once again and gulped at the drop. He wanted to be able to touch Victor so badly, but he also didn't want to break every bone in his body. "You'll catch me? Are you sure?"

 

Victor nodded in confirmation, his eyes shining with warmth and an emotion Yuuri couldn't quite place. "I promised, didn't I?"

 

Somehow those four little words gave Yuuri the courage he needed to hoist himself over the edge of the balcony. He took a deep breath. "Ready?"

 

Victor nodded once more. "Ready."

 

Yuuri didn't give himself time to have any second thoughts as he allowed his body to drop off the balcony, scrunching his eyes shut. The fall seemed to take forever. Too long, in fact. Oh, god, he was going to die, he was going to die, he was going to-

 

"Oof!"

 

He heard the grunt before he felt himself land on a chest. Victor's chest. Yuuri opened his eyes to see Victor grinning at him from his position under Yuuri. Apparently, the jump had knocked both of them off their feet and now they were in a  _quite_ compromising position. The Russian didn't seem to mind, though. He seemed rather excited about the new development. "Why, Yuuri! This is very forward of you."

 

Yuuri's ears turned pink and he struggled to roll off of Victor, but the other held fast. "All jokes aside, Yuuri..." Victor continued, his voice lowering, "Should we continue where we left off?"

 

Once again, Yuuri could only nod as he leaned in to meet Victor's lips with his own. The other man's hands reached up to thread through his hair and Yuuri was sure that he had died and somehow gotten to the afterlife. There was just no way that this could be happening. 

 

Wait. This couldn't be happening!

 

Yuuri wrenched himself off of Victor and rolled off, curling into a ball beside the other man. "Wait, wait...we can't be doing this! What if my parents find out, what if my sister sees us?! Oh, god, what if the  _guards_ see us?! What if-"

 

"Yuuri."

 

Yuuri looked up just in time to see Victor kneel in front of him, expression now a concerned one. "Yuuri," Victor repeated, "Do you want me to leave? Because I will, if you truly don't want this. The absolute last thing I want is to get you into trouble or force you into something you don't want." He reached forward and placed a hand on Yuuri's shoulder. "I haven't known you for very long, but I care about you. So I ask you again. Do you want me to leave?"

 

"No!" Yuuri shouted, a bit too loud considering the situation. He realized his mistake and whipped his head around frantically to see if anybody had heard, but the night was silent. "I don't want you to leave. Please stay with me." he continued, his voice much quieter. 

 

Victor seemed relieved. "Thank you, Yuuri. For allowing me to stay here, at least." He swept his bangs out of his face and laughed softly. "The truth is...I ran for an hour to get here. I just...I had to see you again." 

 

Yuuri was touched. "Oh, Victor...I really don't know what to say, I mean...you didn't have to come all this way for me. You must be really tired-"

 

The Russian shushed him with a single touch to his lips. "For you, Yuuri, I'd do anything." 

 

And so began their nightly rendezvouses. Each night, Victor would wake Yuuri by throwing pebbles at his window and Yuuri would come out to balcony and leap into Victor's arms, just like the very first night. Eventually, Yuuri would wake up of his own accord and wait for Victor to throw pebbles at his window. 

 

They talked about everything under the sun, down there in the Katsuki gardens. Yuuri learned about Victor's dog, a brown poodle named Makkachin("She's a little old, but when you meet her, you'll love her!"), and his adopted brother, who coincidentally shared the same name as Yuuri("Yuri is a bit of a hothead, but he really cares about people, although I'm pretty sure he'd rather swallow spiders than admit it.") He also heard a  _lot_ about himself, about how pretty he was and how smart and articulate he sounded, which Yuuri vehemently denied. How could a trash monster be pretty or intelligent? But apparently, complimenting Yuuri and showering him with kisses as they lay under the stars was Victor's new favorite hobby, so Yuuri learned to stop arguing pretty quick(although he still denied the claims in his head). 

 

Victor also learned everything there was to know about Yuuri. He learned about Vicchan("We should get Makkachin and Vicchan together sometime!"), and about Yuuri's favorite reads(" _War and Peace_? That sounds boring. I'd much rather read about you, Yuuri!") and Yuuri's love of dance. They each made a promise that when they could be together for real, they'd dance together, just the two of them, in Victor's ballroom. It seemed like an impossible dream, but Yuuri knew they'd get there someday. 

 

It wasn't long before they realized the loved each other. Three words whispered to each other under the light of the moon seemed to change the whole nature of their relationship. Three words changed soft, hesitant kisses into kisses burning with passion and lust, powered by their mutual understanding of each other's love. 

 

They knew it was dangerous. They knew if they were ever caught, it would be a major scandal. Both of their families' reputation would take a big hit, but they wouldn't let it stop them. Using the greatest of care and caution, they were never caught. 

 

It seemed perfect. But, of course, nothing perfect could last. 

 

The walls they had built together, carefully crafted with love, came crashing one night in late summer. 

* * *

 

"You...You what?" Yuuri asked, lip trembling. This couldn't be true, it couldn't!

 

"My father wants me to head over one of the towns in the land we have control over. He thinks it'll be good for me to have some responsibility," Victor repeated, refusing to look Yuuri in the eye, "I...I don't know when I'll be back..."

 

Yuuri fought back tears, clinging to Victor's arm. "Then I won't be able to see you...I can't-I can't be without you, Victor!"

 

Victor gripped Yuuri's hand, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Yuuri...I'm so sorry!"

 

Yuuri's heart broke and he threw his arms around Victor's neck, hugging him as tightly as he possibly could. "It's alright, Victor, it's okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he soothed, rubbing all up and down his lover's back. "Don't cry..." 

 

But Victor did cry, despite his gentle words. Yuuri allowed Victor to cry as much as he wanted, while trying to keep his own tears from coming out. The sound and feeling of his lover, whom he loved more than anyone, sobbing in his arms was horrible and he never wanted to feel it again. 

 

Eventually, Victor's tears stopped and they both collapsed on the grass, just holding each other.

 

"Victor?" Yuuri asked timidly, breaking the long and painful silence, "We...We could go somewhere together, somewhere we could be alone. There's bound to be a town that hasn't heard of us and that won't try to send us back. All there's left to do is run. Run away from everything." 

 

The other man didn't say anything for a long while and Yuuri feared that he had scared Victor off. He opened his mouth to utter an apology before Victor finally spoke. "I can't, Yuuri. I want to, believe me, I do. But there's nowhere we could go my parents wouldn't find us. He'd-" he paused to take a shuddery breath, "They'd destroy your family, they'd destroy  _you_. I can't allow that to happen. I love you too much."

 

Yuuri nodded, tears sparkling at the corners of his eyes. He'd expected that answer, but it didn't hurt any less. "You love me enough to let me go?" 

 

Victor visibly winced at the answer, but he didn't back down or retract. "I do, Yuuri. I swear, I will come back to you one day. I don't know when, or how. But I  _will_ return." 

 

That was all it took. Yuuri finally allowed the tears he had been holding back all night to come forth and he wept in Victor's arms, unable to be consoled. He knew Victor would return to him, he didn't doubt it for a second. 

 

But Yuuri knew as well as anyone that Victor could be gone for years. It wasn't like he could go visit him, he'd be too easily recognizable, and relations weren't good between the Katsukis and the Feltsman Dukedom. 

 

However, Yuuri was willing to wait. He'd wait a thousand years for Victor, just as he knew Victor would wait a thousand years for him. There wasn't any viable way around this, so they would get through it. Together. 

 

The lovers ended their beautiful nights together in the gardens with a gentle kiss, like when they had first started their secret meetings. It seemed only fit that they ended they way they began.

* * *

 

The first night Victor didn't come around was so much harder than Yuuri expected. By then, his body had become used to waking up at ungodly hours. Lying awake and expecting pebbles that would never come was a terrible feeling, but it was one Yuuri would have to get used to. He needed to accept the fact that Victor would not come to the gardens anymore. The sooner he got used to it, the better. 

 

Getting used to it didn't make it any easier, though. 

 

And so the waiting began. Yuuri would throw himself into his daily duties in order to distract himself from Victor's absence. Every day, he'd spend hours in the ballroom with Minako, determined to work harder than ever before. He sensed his dance tutor knew something was up with him, but was grateful she didn't ask about it. She wouldn't have been able to get an answer even if she did. Yuuri also became more involved with the happenings of the manor. He began to wander around, asking about the boring activities the servants usually took care of, like washing the clothes or cooking. The servants began to whisper every time they saw him, but Yuuri didn't mind. If it got his mind off of Victor, he was content. 

 

Night, however, was a different story. His body clock was still attuned to Victor's arrivals, but he made no attempt to change that. Whenever he woke up, he'd go to his balcony and sit in the chair he had set up, every thought about his lover and wherever he may be. Each rustle in the bushes or whisper of wind through the trees made Yuuri hopeful that his love had returned, but it was always just that. It was never Victor and it made Yuuri despair to the point of tears. 

 

He wouldn't say he was  _miserable._ It wasn't as if his entire happiness depended on Victor, but it certainly put a damper on his mood. His parents and sister noticed and tried to ask what was wrong, but he never told them the truth. He'd lie and say he was sick or that dance practice hadn't gone well and they'd usually leave him alone after that, but Yuuri could tell that they believed him less and less as the weeks went on. They knew better then to pry, though. 

 

The days passed, then weeks, then months. Before Yuuri knew it, winter was over. The first blossoms of spring were beginning to show, and still no sign of Victor. 

 

Spring came and went. The cherry blossoms on the grounds bloomed and withered and Victor was nowhere to be seen. 

 

Then, summer. The season where Yuuri had first known true love. He had hoped perhaps Victor would show himself on the day they first met, but no such luck. It had now been a year since Victor had been gone. A year without his sparkling laugh, his bright smile, or his love. A dark part in Yuuri's mind wondered if Victor had abandoned him for good. Would Victor really do that to him?

 

No, he decided. Victor loved him, and he loved Victor. They'd be together again soon. 

 

But then another year passed, and Yuuri started to lose hope. Would Victor ever come around again? Had his father been right about Victor being nothing more than a playboy who broke hearts for fun? 

 

Yuuri was determined to keep it together, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. Two years his lover had been gone. Two years he hadn't heard his voice or touched his skin. 

 

And while Yuuri was strong, he knew better than anyone that he couldn't hold himself together forever. How much longer could he wait?

* * *

"Yuuri! Stop!"

 

Yuuri stopped his routine and glanced over at Minako, who was rubbing her temples. "Yes, Minako?"

 

"Don't 'yes, Minako' me, Yuuri!" Minako shouted, one hand still on her temple, "You've been distracted all day today! You've done this routine a thousand times before, but now you're getting even the most simple things wrong!" She placed both hands on her hips and glared at him. "Tell me what's going on."

 

Yuuri knew perfectly well what was going on. Today was the three year anniversary of Victor's leaving. Of course he was a mess, but it wasn't as if he could spill the truth to Minako. Instead, he just sighed and said: "I'm sorry, Minako. It's just...Father's business trip has set me a little on edge, that's all."

 

It wasn't a complete lie. Toshiya Katsuki hardly ever went on business trips, and when he did, it meant big news for the whole family. The last time he went on the business trip was when Yuuri was eighteen, and he brought home the news that the amount of land they owned had almost doubled. 

 

However, this time, Toshiya had hardly given any details. He had just told them he was going on a trip for a fortnight, and that was all. He was due back today, actually, so it seemed reasonable that Yuuri be nervous about it. 

 

But Minako didn't seem to buy it. "I know it's not that, Yuuri. Something's been bothering you for a long time, but you won't tell anybody what it is. Well, it's time you told-"

 

But Yuuri had stopped listening. He was staring out one of the ballroom windows, where he had caught a flash of silver in the corner of his eye. He knew it was silly to hope, but could it be? Had Victor finally returned?

 

Then, he saw it again. A little bit of silver in the trees. Could he dare to hope? 

 

A human figure emerged from the trees and Yuuri ran to the window to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him, that it really was who he thought it was. 

 

But when Victor began running towards the manor, Yuuri lost all control. He ran as fast as he could out of the ballroom, despite Minako's surprised shouts. He flew down the stairs, through the foyer, and out the door. He couldn't run fast enough, he couldn't, he couldn't...

 

And then he was in Victor's arms again, where he belonged. For the first time in three years, he was home. 

 

"Yuuri, I-" Victor began, but Yuuri silenced him with a hard, desperate kiss, almost causing them to fall to the ground in his vigor. Victor didn't fight back or attempt to push Yuuri off. He kissed back twice as hard, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's waist and pulling him closer. 

 

Everything else fell away. It was like nothing existed but Yuuri, Victor, and the love between them. In the back of his mind, Yuuri vaguely registered the tears falling down his cheeks. Or were they Victor's tears? Either way, it didn't matter. They were together, and that's what truly mattered. 

 

After an eternity, they broke apart and just held each other, gazing into each other's eyes and not saying a word. Both of them could clearly see that the other still loved them, maybe even more because of the absence. 

 

Suddenly, Victor broke away from Yuuri, shattering the magical moment they had been sharing. "Wha-?" Yuuri stammered, his hands still yearning to hold the man he loved. 

 

Victor only smiled, dropping to one knee and pulling out a simple velvet box. He took one of Yuuri's shaking hands in his own, hoping to soothe his lover and prepare him for what he was about to say. "Marry me, Yuuri. I know I've been gone for a long time, but you never have to be alone again. I'm not sure of a lot of things, but one thing is for sure. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you." 

 

God, how he wanted to hear that again. "Victor..." Yuuri whispered reverently, bringing Victor's knuckles up to his lips, "I love you too. I love you so much, and these three years have been...so hard. I want to marry you, Victor, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But, my father, he-"

 

Victor stood up and placed a gentle kiss on Yuuri's cheek, effectively silencing him. "Don't worry about that. I talked to your father. In fact, me, my father, and yours, we all talked. It was hard, but I got them to listen. They've..." Victor choked down a sob, "They've given their blessing for us to wed. Now all you have to do is...say yes." 

 

So that was the mysterious "business trip" his father had been on. He knew he should've been mad that no one told him about this, but he couldn't find it within himself to care at that moment. The stars had aligned. His waiting was over, and now he could be with the man he loved the rest of his life. 

 

Victor smiled shyly and held out the small box, opening it to reveal a gorgeous golden ring. It was much plainer than many other engagement rings he had seen in the past, but to Yuuri, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He held out a shaking hand and allowed Victor to slip the ring on. It fit perfectly. 

 

Victor pulled the matching ring out of his pocket and slipped it on his hand. He took Yuuri's ring hand and threaded their fingers together, holding them up to the light. "It's beautiful..." he murmured, squeezing his now-intended's hand. 

 

Yuuri couldn't speak at that moment, but he agreed. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. The symbol of their love, shining in the sunlight. Their relationship had been hard, no doubt, but Yuuri wouldn't change any of it. Not for the world. 

 

It was their love story, after all. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! i'm sure this isn't my last venture into writing yuri!!! on ice fic, so tell me if there's something you'd like me to write!

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed those idiots tripping down the stairs into love and then it all going to shit
> 
> don't worry, there'll be a second chapter, and possibly a third if it gets to be too long to write
> 
> please comment it makes me want a die a little less


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